Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Romilda Vane's InsaneJournal:

Sunday, October 25th, 2009
12:53 pm	D: As the world falls down Men are idiots. Current Mood: angry Current Music: "As The World Falls Down" :: David Bowie (241 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 2nd, 2009
2:11 pm	C: I once had a grip on everything It's been a bit quieter on the walls the today. Christ knows, I don't know what to make of the change, I don't think anyone else does either. "Further information" hasn't happened yet, and it's keeping everyone back a bit, I think. Why were they tossed out? It's fairly clear that they were, but I've no idea who was behind it, or why. And that - well. I learned a long time ago to trust my gut on that. There's politics happening here, and that generates shit. Which everyone knows, rolls downhill. And I'm practically at the bottom of the hill. Not sure I want to stay in, knowing that things are so up in the air. But if I don't, rest assured - I've read the contract and the laws, I know it means leaving the city. I want to know who the hell's giving the orders I'm supposed to follow. I've blindly followed before, and that doesn't work out really well. I want to see a face, know who's giving them. The York military - but who? ( Private ) Current Mood: drained Current Music: "I'm Not Over" :: Carolina Liar (60 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
1:11 am	B: Songbird, you got tales to tell The thing I might miss the most about normal life is that I never took the time to be a nomad. I wanted to be one, just get a caravan and travel the island, stay wherever I wanted to, somewhere different every night. Maybe go over to the continent with it and have more room to roam. Seeing something twice seemed like such a waste. But there was school, and then the military, and then Summer's Brigades, and then the Summer of Rage happened, and now - I still have all the time in the world to travel, I'm a young witch indeed, maybe a century left, all goes well, but now I can't leave. Seems strange, to be unable to leave. Unable to run away, if I'm honest. Time to stand and fight. Which is funny, because even when I was in the military and the Brigades, I never felt like I fought. I took orders, and that was sometimes orders to fight, but it felt so detached. Is this what people mean when they say they're putting down roots, when they're willing to fight over the ground they live on, defend it from all enemies and assert that they have a right to be there? I always thought it was something a little more optimistic, but now I'm not so sure. Of course, what the hell do I know? I've never wanted roots before. I spent my time moving away from them, away from anything that could catch up to me. The future and the past were disconnected. The future would be better because I could make it be; the past was full of mistakes I'd made. Not quite sure how I thought the present could transmute my track record of failure into the perfection that I wanted, but it seemed like that was the purpose of the present. Even if I came to it - oh, call it a limping thing, because it's late, and that's the time for flights of fancy - even if I came to it a limping little thing that couldn't do the important things right, because I had such a clear vision of the future, it would be different, because I wouldn't make the same mistakes. And to my credit, I never made the same mistake twice. I just invented new ones. Summer's Brigades, for instance. We were going to make the future what it should be - because I didn't want to pay attention to the people who were running the group, didn't want to see that they were terrorists, not freedom fighters. Of course, so was I, but I wasn't in it for myself, I was in it for the future, this perfect thing that I could see. I believed in that, when practically everyone else there believed that they'd be the Emperor of the Brave New World we were creating. This may mean only that I am an amazing fool. In hindsight, I should've realised - hell, at the time I did, but I didn't see how all-pervasive it was. I don't think it counts in your favour if you say that you didn't want the power for yourself. Christ knows, enough people in that group spent all their time protesting that they didn't want power that the fact that we were killing politicians and anyone important enough to cause chaos shouldn't have made sense. Another thing to add to the long list of mistakes, but this one got people I didn't know dead. Perhaps I shouldn't be allowed to touch the future as it's becoming the present. I seem to have an unerring ability to fuck it up. I still wish I'd been a proper nomad, though. ( Warded tightly private ) Current Mood: tired Current Music: "Songbird" :: Bernard Fanning (64 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 7th, 2009
1:26 pm	A: Restless and tired of sleeping with giants Every time you let personal feelings override the little part of you that says it's better not to step forward, that's when you get fucked over. Someday my brain will quit being smarter than me, or I'll learn to listen to it first. It doesn't want to do much, but then again, at this point, I'm not feeling like doing much either. At least we're in agreement on that part. I feel like travelling. I realise that's probably a one-way trip, but I can't say I care. Maybe I'll try for Leeds, see if I can get over to Sheffield or Manchester from there. I've been in York two years, and I didn't particularly like it when I moved here. I really can't say it's improved since. ( Private ) Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Sleeping With Giants (Lifetime) :: The Academy Is (13 Comments |Comment on this)